🎙️ Episode 21: Parenting with Purpose Through “Sandpaper Moments”

Guest: Martha B. Metzler, Therapist & Author of Sandpaper Moments
Host: Matt Butterman

Every parent knows the rough edges — those moments of tension, anxiety, or overwhelm when raising kids. Therapist and author Martha B. Metzler calls these “sandpaper moments,” and in her new book of the same name, she explores how parents can respond with purpose instead of fear.

In this episode, Martha and host Matt Butterman discuss how parents can use the “sandpaper” analogy to guide their responses to their children’s anxiety, giving kids both a visual and a tool to manage big feelings without being overcome by them. Together, they explore practical coping skills that help children — and parents — reset, regulate, and move toward resilience.

Martha shares tangible techniques such as grounding exercises, breathwork, sensory tools like gratitude bracelets, and the powerful role of nature in calming the nervous system. She also emphasizes the importance of shifting identity: recognizing that while we experience anxiety, it does not define who we are.

With warmth and hope, Martha reminds us that parenting with purpose means showing up daily, embracing both grit and grace, and modeling for our children how to navigate the rough patches of life without fear.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• “Sandpaper moments” smooth our edges: Parenting isn’t about eliminating every challenge but learning to respond with purpose and intention.
  
  

• Coping skills matter: Grounding exercises (5–4–3–2–1), breathwork, gratitude, and tactile tools like beaded bracelets help kids regulate anxiety.
  
  

• Nature heals: Stepping outside, breathing fresh air, and moving the body can reset the brain in ways screens never will.
  
  

• Avoidance ≠ coping: Numbing with phones, iPads, or Netflix doesn’t build resilience — purposeful response does.
  
  

• Anxiety is part of life, not your identity: With discipline and practice, kids and adults can learn to manage anxiety so it doesn’t get bigger than they are.
  
  

• Grit + grace = growth: True resilience comes from both naming hard feelings and trusting your ability to move through them.
  
  

📌 Resources & Links

• Martha B. Metzler – www.marthametzler.com
  
  

• Martha’s new book: Sandpaper Moments — available locally in North Carolina and on Amazon
  
  

• Follow Martha on Instagram: @marthametzler
  
  

• Explore more episodes and resources: www.nimbleyouthpodcast.com
  
  

💡 If this episode resonates with you, share it with a fellow parent navigating their own “sandpaper moments.” Growth often comes through the rough spots — let’s embrace them together.